Happy (Almost) Spring!
Early in the year someone came up to me and asked whether I had any
articles (or anything I’d written personally) on whether it’s any use to share
the Gospel with those who have advanced dementia. This person had just put an
aging mother in a nursing home in a nonresponsive state due to dementia, and
was wondering whether (or perhaps had been told that) she was beyond
hope. This was not a new thought; others have in the past questioned the usefulness of a ministry to those with dementia or other debilitating mental conditions. So let me share my answer, so you can see inside my world for a minute.
On God and Dementia.
Should we go and share the gospel with patients (even
unbelievers) suffering from dementia Yes.
Even if they can’t reliably tell whether it’s day or night
by looking out the window? Yes.
Even if they are completely insensible or comatose? Yes.
WHY? WHAT’S THE POINT?
Because they are still alive, and where there is life there
is hope. It’s certainly not as rewarding as sharing the gospel with those
who can respond to us verbally; but that is, at the bottom, a selfish goal.
It’s human to want to be able to see the results of our work; to know we are
being fruitful in what God has commanded us. But many times we have to
let that go, just do our bit faithfully and trust the results to God. I
think that’s the crux of the matter: questioning the benefit of sharing the
gospel with those suffering from dementia evidences a misunderstanding both of
the nature of the disability and of God. I’ll deal with those one at a
time.
The nature of the disability:
Dementia is not a disease. It’s a collection of symptoms. A
disorder in memory, thinking, and reasoning that is severe enough to
significantly impact the person’s ability to function independently. It
is insidious as it robs sufferers of both yesterday and tomorrow, and makes
getting through today a challenge. It isolates them by stealing away
their memories and recognition of the people who, in normal conditions, would
bring their greatest comfort. The people to whom they belong. Eventually,
the person with dementia is utterly alone in a land of strangers. Is it any
wonder they react angrily and fearfully? Does this help explain why they push
people away?
In their solitary state, they are aware that they are
traveling - by what means they’re not exactly certain – to new unfamiliar places
on a daily or even hourly basis. You can tell them all you want “This is your
kitchen. You’ve lived here for 50 years! You had your breakfast here.” And it
does no good. All they want is “to go home” – but by that they don’t mean
the same thing we mean. They don’t recognize places in their house – but
they remember that it is good to be “home.” That home they long for isn't a place: it's security, love and
acceptance. Even if they are physically in their own house, they are not
at home because dementia has robbed them of their ability to recognize the
familiar. What they want is the feeling of security, love, and
acceptance, and their condition robs them of even that. Little by little,
dementia takes them to a different place, though their bodies occupy the
same bed or chair. Is it any wonder they’re disoriented? Do you understand why
they prefer to sit in one chair for hours; why going outside for pleasant
distractions completely unnerves them?
As the neurons in their brains die, they “slip away.”
And in our humanness we tend to write them off at the point at which they can
no longer respond. “She’s beyond hope now,” we say. “It’s just a matter of time.”
And it’s true to a certain extent. Dementia is, in the end, a terminal
condition. We visit out of a sense of duty for a while, but when there is
no response we reason that there is no use in talking – they do not hear or recognize us –
and we conclude that it doesn’t really matter whether we come and see them or
not. All we really need to do is ensure that they are adequately cared
for and reasonably healthy.
And spiritually, once they can no longer respond we decide that “it’s no use”
sharing the Gospel with them, because they can’t do anything about it anyway.
HOW WRONG WE ARE.
How do you know? You ask me. Have you spoken
with anyone who used to have dementia who doesn’t any more, and can tell us
what it was like?
No, of course not. But we don’t need that,
really. We need to rely on what we know about people, God and salvation.
One of the very most important things to understand about
people is that “unable to respond” does not mean “absent.” They can still
hear. There are so many stories of people who were comatose but have recovered
who can repeat what was said to them (or about then) when they were thought to
be “out of it” that this is not seriously discounted any more. Of all the
senses, hearing is the last to be lost in the normal course of aging and
disability. Because hearing is totally passive. Sight is an active
sense, requiring one to exert effort and muscle coordination to open the
eyelids, move the eyeballs, and focus on things/people. Just seeing can
be exhausting. Our sense of touch (except for pain receptors) requires us
to touch things. Rest your finger lightly on something. If you hold
perfectly still, within a second you lose the ability to discriminate between
soft, hard, smooth, rough, silky, furry…all you have is the sense of pressure.
And after a couple seconds, even the sense of touching something fades away
because we need to move the finger in order for the pressure sensors in the
skin to fire.
But hearing is totally passive. Even those who cannot
respond can hear. And if they can hear, what do they need to hear more than the
Gospel? If they are believers, we can kind of understand that; they need
to be reminded of the only security they have – even if they forget it again by
lunch time. But what if they are not believers? Is there any reason to
share with them if they can’t respond? Just think about that for a minute. What
does the Bible say about that? Here’s a very clear encouragement from
Romans 10:17. Faith comes through hearing, and hearing through the Word of God.
Period
We were all dead in our sin. God had to quicken in us the
faith to believe the gospel. In a way, we were worse than those with
dementia because we exercised our will to consciously refuse to respond to the
Word. But their volition is significantly impaired. Their heart is softened; in
their fear and disorientation they are like people being tossed about by a
raging river; they are ready to cling to any rock. It must
be THE ROCK.
We tend to put “boxes” around people’s Christianity.
To gauge the eternal state of someone’s soul by applying modern evangelical
constructs as our meter stick. Modern evangelicalism says the evidence of
saving faith is a prayer (the Sinner’s prayer) or “asking Jesus to come into
our heart” or showing a changed life. It’s something we have to DO.
That’s slippery ground to stand on. I’m not 100% in agreement with
Calvinism, but it is pretty clear in Scripture that God is the agent, and the
author, and the perfector of our faith. We are sheep. Clay. Dead.
Hmmm. What a travesty it is to devalue someone’s life (or faith) because they
can no longer move or smile or speak.
The Nature of God
Saying it’s useless to share with those who have dementia is
putting ourselves in the place of God. We think it’s up to us.
Here’s the truth: IT’S NOT.
God talks about Himself in His word and shows us glimpses of
what He is doing. If you’re dealing with someone with dementia, I highly
recommend reading Isaiah 55:10-11 daily until you have it memorized. Here it
is:
ISAIAH 55:10-11
“10 For as the rain comes
down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My
mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”
See how important this is? What food
for the soul is here! The rain and snow come down to the earth and seem to
disappear. But they don’t really. They sink in and are hard at work
watering the earth and making it productive and spreading the blessing far and
wide. The dirt may not look any different, but the water is working down
deep and in due time the fruit is seen. Just because we don’t see the water on
the surface doesn’t mean we can conclude that it’s not necessary. To
withhold the water on the basis that it’s just wasted pouring it into dirt like
that will starve the ground and make it impossible for fruit to be
produced.
Now, this is not a promise –
it’s a principle. A general statement of the way things usually
work. We know that the rain and snow do not guarantee fruit.
Even if the water is sufficient, the fruit may fail due to environmental
conditions or disease or human intervention. But without the water none of
those other things matter. Even in the perfect, disease-free environment, with
patient nurturing; if there is no water fruit is impossible.
The Word is the water.
Just because we don’t see it having an
effect doesn’t mean it’s not working. It may sound harsh to say it this
way, but withholding the Word starves the soul, making fruit impossible. With
the Word, fruit is possible. Without the Word, there will be no fruit – guaranteed.
No chance. No hope. No fruit – no seed – no future.
But, you say, in this case the life can’t
bring forth fruit anyway – the person is comatose.
Wrong again. The ultimate fruit is eternal
life. Which we will not see until heaven.
The second half of the verse is familiar,
but I don’t think we think much about it. But there it is in black and white.
His word will not return void. Like the water and the snow. It’s
not possible for it to return void. And further, it accomplishes what He
pleases. This should make us laugh with joyful relief. It isn’t
only not about what THEY can do in response, it’s not about what
we do either! It’s not about phrasing the gospel just right to break
through their defenses or out-logic them. It’s not about us at all! It is God
who does all the work through His word. HA!
God has spoken through a bush…and
thunderclouds, and a donkey…and still His word accomplished its purpose every
time. His words through His prophets have produced amazing results: like
animating dead bones. His word through His Son and His servants have brought
the dead back to life! How can we say God’s word can no longer work in this
person just because they’re not able to respond?
And how will they hear the Word unless we
proclaim it? We should continue to pray for them, certainly. But
while they are alive, we should be diligent to speak the Word to them. If we
cannot, we can definitely pray that someone else (like a chaplain perhaps) will.
In conclusion, as long as what we’re
saying is God’s word, it is never wasted effort. We may not see any result
in their lifetime, but we must not stop speaking the Words of life to those who
are suffering from dementia. There is nothing to fear: no reason to
hesitate. This life has nothing left to offer them – but eternity is within
their grasp.
Here’s a parting song:
1. Sing them over again to me,
wonderful words of life;
let me more of their beauty see,
wonderful words of life;
words of life and beauty
teach me faith and duty.
Refrain:
Beautiful words, wonderful words,
wonderful words of life.
Beautiful words, wonderful words,
wonderful words of life.
2.
Christ, the blessed one, gives to all
wonderful words of life;
sinner, list’n to the Gospel call,
wonderful words of life;
all so freely given,
wooing us to heaven.
(Refrain)
3.
Sweetly echo the gospel call,
wonderful words of life;
offer pardon and peace to all,
wonderful words of life;
Jesus, only Savior,
sanctify forever.
Beautiful words, wonderful words,
wonderful words of life.
Beautiful words, wonderful words,
wonderful words of life.
Blessings
Debbe
